Sigh?
Maybe.
It's Christmas Eve and I'm sitting alone in a lovely apartment (I'm not just sitting actually, I'm catsitting, and I suppose in that sense I'm not alone). The Christmas tree is lit, the cat is fed, the booze is on the table. I'm ready for another Christmas eve of eating avocados and cereal for dinner (sequentially, not together). But then my parents call on Skype and ask me about my plans and offer to eat dinner together over skype so I don't feel lonely. That makes me feel lonely for the first time today. I walk around this ornately put together apartment (in a thoughtful, not gaudy, way) and that question comes up again "what am I doing with my life?"
Then Cyndi Lauper with her "Time after Time" comes on right after "Pain" by Jimmy Eat World, which felt very much like a blog-moment. So here we are. Also, I'd like to note, it was followed by Offpspring's "You're gonna go far, kid" (as I started writing this).
Ugh, life.
"Watching through windows and wondering if I'm okay" is much more poetic-seeming in Brooklyn than in Stony Brook, so I'll get back to it.
P.S. I'm still trying to decide on a vice/addiction. Jimmy Eat World recommends pills. Offpspring seems to suggest lying/sociopathy. I need something quick, because I've already built up a tolerance to watching through windows with melancholy.
Ahhh, I and my two glasses of Christmas AM wine feel you. Drugs are bad, though. And expensive!
ReplyDelete-T
Yeah, I've never been the one to pay for drugs. Or take them at all, I suppose.... I don't even take painkillers when I'm in pain.
ReplyDeleteAlso, hi "T", I'm curious as to which "T" you are.
the T that sorta rhymes with tree :)
Deletebut yeah, the holiday season has always sucked and it continues through valentine's day! for which cards are already being sold! gah!
Hmm, curious indeed. Is "T" the first letter of your last name rather than your first?
ReplyDelete-V
I am still trying to figure out if I know you!
ReplyDelete