Mourning, coming to terms, healing...

We have quite a bit experience with mourning loss of others - whether through a tragic event or a more quotidian "falling out." There are stages of grief and mourning - we've basically got it down to a formula. It's hard, really hard, but "life goes on" or something.

Are people as experienced with mourning themselves? What they used to be? What they thought they could be but realize they can never reach? When it's in your head, rather than external to your person, how do you come to terms with it? Do we ever get good at that? How do we heal the wounds we gave ourselves?

If I didn't have a dysmorphic body, I would think I had body dysmorphic disorder..... but I guess in this case it's "order" instead.