Are people as experienced with mourning themselves? What they used to be? What they thought they could be but realize they can never reach? When it's in your head, rather than external to your person, how do you come to terms with it? Do we ever get good at that? How do we heal the wounds we gave ourselves?
If I didn't have a dysmorphic body, I would think I had body dysmorphic disorder..... but I guess in this case it's "order" instead.
I think when it comes to ourselves there is more of an impulse to "fix" the loss than with a death of another or the loss of a friend. At least with me, the idea that the loss-of-self can be recouped is strengthened by the fact that my body and my mind are always with me and therefore give me the impression that anything that has been lost therein can be recovered due to their proximity and ever-presence. What a horrible sentence. You get me?
ReplyDeleteI think I do, but isn't it just an illusion? As time and circumstances change, we cannot go back. It is probably gone forever. Is it the "probably" that makes us cling to hope of recovery?
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