Famished for shit

"Run your note by a friend first. Read it to them over the phone, get feedback. Give them a chance to suggest revisions. The best suicide notes I've read were created by inviting all of the friends over and reading it to them as a group.

If you don't have friends or at least any with writing talent, you can call a Suicide Hotline at 1-800-784-2433 and read it to them. They deal with dozens of suicides every day and they know a good note when they hear one. They'll shoot you straight."
http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html

The following was a draft saved from a couple of years ago (it had relevant images then). Funny how things change and then change back:

I don't think I am myself any more. Well, that's a logically faulty statement, huh? Self-contradicting or something. I suppose I mean that I do not think I am who I used to think I was. I feel that I am changing. I suppose any amateur scientist could tell you that no one is the same person at any point (can't walk into the same river twice, says Pocahontas) but I believe I am undergoing some sort of a rapid transformation. Perhaps I may refer to it as a metamorphosis. Perhaps I already did... twice.
[Image]
Coincidentally, I am not becoming a bug. I am remaining human. In fact, if my imaginary calculations are correct, I am becoming more human than ever. This tremendous accomplishment is brought to you by no longer giving a shit about people's feelings. At least not as much. I am no longer trying to be a really good person. Being a good person not only sucks, it rarely benefits anyone. All the time I spend trying to be selfless I am only making things worse. Enough. People are meant to be selfish. It is nature and I must embrace it, like monkeys embrace poo flinging (remember Gunther and how he was much happier as a monkey of moderate intelligence?). These may be the characteristics of my metamorphosis. To be clear, I am not claiming to have been selfless - only that I tried (and indeed aspired) to be a decent person with other people's needs in mind. I think what Kellie suggested was right - it's much more effective if everyone worries about their own needs and happiness. Don't be an asshole, but don't try to be a martyr either -it's fatalistic.
So, revealing the new me. And just to show that I am not completely self-absorbed, I will offer you an apple.[Image]
Eat it![Image]
Ahahahahahahahahah[Image]
All your Base are Belong to US!

To you

I hoped that we could be friends forever
What a silly, naive and unme thing to think
I usually would avoid such an endeavor
But something about you tickled me pink

These things happen and life goes on
I wish it wouldn't, I wish it was done
But it does and it will, there's nowhere to run
Sleep now so you can start anew with the rising sun.

I'm reinventing myself... again

Yes I cared for you in the beginning
But it's simply not the case anymore
Now that you've hurt my last feeling
I see through your shit like never before

Sure I can't quite say that I'm over it
What with this poem being here and all
But don't think that I'm throwing a fit
To get attention or get you to call

I'm merely trying to put thoughts to words
Something each of us should learn to do
If Blobby was here, we'd put them to chords
Nothing like a song to say we're through

End of life planning

End of life planning makes sense when you're old and/or sick, right?  And I think most of you (out of 1.5 or so people reading this) are supporters of palliative care and potentially assisted suicide.   What if we just tire of living? Isn't that as valid a reason as any?

And if so, how do we approach it? Futurama envisioned suicide booths on every corner, but perhaps we can be more tasteful than that.  Maybe our mental health care system would benefit if patients were allowed to discuss these options.  David Foster Wallace may have had a less tragic end.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/be-kind-people-will-remember/

Not journalism, just rambling

I found a new blog I like (it was actually presented to me, yay).

 http://realworlddialogue.blogspot.com/

 Excerpt from the latest post:

 "What is Activism?

 (Not journalism, just rambling)

 We have the potential to heal others and heal ourselves. Most healing happens in the simple act of listening. Allowing the other to their right to a hearing and keeping the door open long enough for there to be a happening. The happening I refer to is the healing, the moment in which two people make a commitment to aid each other in the journey of life."

I also still love Thuy's tumblr http://cafephin.tumblr.com/  (...should I have asked for permission to share it? I mean, i t is on the internets, right?

It's so simple sometimes

I'm on RA doody all weekend, which means I'm on call 24 hours a day. This morning someone called because she wanted to return the keys to her room (she moved out) and I explained that she just needed to fill out a form and drop the keys into a box by the door. She retorted that she did not have a pen, so she wanted me to bring her a pen. Yes, I had to get out of bed and go meet this person at the office because she did not have a pen. You might say "it's your job", but I think that's the point where we get too techno/bureau-cratic. It's like the other time someone called me at 3am because he needed to get into the building and left his ID card in his room - by the time I got out of bed, dressed and to his building, he was already inside because people go in and out all the time. Wouldn't it be great if people were more considerate? My sleep wouldn't be so interrupted all the time.

But the point of this post wasn't to complain so much as to reassert that happiness can be pretty simple. After that little thing in the morning I came back and slept and slept and slept. It's almost 6PM now and I'm still in my bed and it's great. Eating in bed, drinking in bed, watching TV and listening to music in bed. Nothing else really matters right now. After having very little bed time for the past month, this is like the best thing ever. And it seems consistent with what we know about the brain - it's responsive to changes. You just have to change shit up and then you can feel good. A day in bed every month or so = bliss. Stock up on chocolate, nutella, raisin bread, tea/coffee and half&half (with condensed milk?).

Maybe tomorrow I will clean my room, and that will be something to feel good about. There are some objects that haven't been moved since I moved in 4 months ago (and I keep tripping over them on a regular basis).

To summarize: Arete - yes, that's the goal in life, right? But aside from that lofty abstractness, we should try to vary our behavior. As Howie mentioned, a good life can be characterized by discriminative stimuli (he said it more eloquently, I'm sure). And as I say now - "be the discriminative stimulus you want to see in the world".

...And don't call for someone to bring you a pen.